Jenny Finally Gets Circular Stairs

A long time goal of replacing the “Stairs of Death” that lead down to our fire pit is complete. Below are some pictures of the process. The “Stairs of Death” are very steep and narrow stairs that most everyone thought were dangerous (note: nobody ever died on them so I don’t know how they can complain).

Day 1: A truck load of dirt was delivered to our yard. And the fun begins of figuring out how to do whatever it is that I want to do. (Feel free to click on any image to show details)

Here’s a good shot showing the imfamous “Stairs of Death” where nobody has ever died (or did I mention that already).

Now that the dirt is close to where it will live for the rest of my life, I needed to move it into place. Add one shovel and start burning calories.

This next shot shows the first four stairs. As you can see, version 2.0 stairs are less steep. This will make people feel more comfortable, relaxed, and so, they’re probably not be alert and thus will fall down these stairs like a waterfall of people. You can also see the florescent orange string that follows the angle of the new stairs and makes it look like an engineer planned something. Don’t be fooled.


Day 2: By the end of day two, 17 very heavy stairs were in place and several of the old stairs were gone. Note the orange string. It made me feel good though so I left it there. Something you can’t see here are the “Kamikaze Flies From Hell”. These stupid things will fly at their target and bang into them. They’ll hit your eye, fly in your ear or mouth. They then burrow down to your skin and bite holes in your arm. We’re not talking deer flies which are twice the size and land much more gently. These beasts are smaller and in greater numbers. Every time I work outside it never fails that I inhale and then gag on one that has flown into my mouth.

Day 3: In order to prevent further complaining I decided to make each step twice as wide. This will also give people a sense of security before they relax, forget what they’re doing and fall down the stairs. I ate another fly today.

And finally, with minutes to spare before it began to rain, Jenny finally got the circular staircase she has always wanted.

All that’s left now is cleaning up, some landscaping, grass seed and soon we’ll enjoy our first bonfire of the year. That is, as long as we safely make it down the new stairs.

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