Daylight Savings

RANT: Dear Commissioner Dan, we’re finally getting back the hour of life that the federal government took from us last spring. With the government making the days shorter and then longer, taking away an hour and then giving it back, it’s driving me crazy (that’s figurative! I passed my quarterly psych evaluation last week). Am I the only one who feels just a little like the government is running some large scale experiment? Add to this the chemtrails, Area 51, crop circles, the fake moon landing, and this is a full blown conspiracy. As a county commissioner, you have the responsibility to enforce Article VI of the constitution (The Supremacy Clause) if the state of Idaho doesn’t do it. You need to take control and get rid of this daylight savings time shenanigans.
Also, while you’re at it, by adding an hour or two to each day, we can all have more time to relax. With a 27 hour day we can work for 8 hrs and come home and spend more time with our cats; Or dogs for those mentally infirm. I hope your dog is doing well by the way. Just make sure the extra two hours are added after 5:30 so I’m done working on my business enterprise selling recycled feeding tubes on the internet before I get to enjoy the extra time. The result will be a happier community without all the bickering on social media. Trust me, ever since I cut down my work day by two hours, my entire demeanor has improved. I haven’t been banned from any Facebook groups for posting incendiary comments about the FDA withholding the cure for cancer because of the kick backs they get from big pharma (even though we know it’s true).
I heard you say that “write in candidates never get elected” and we know why that is, Dan? Because you have rigged the system against me. But I’m running a positive campaign and will surely prove you wrong because the people of Bonner County need someone with creative ideas, who loves cats, and who knows which conspiracies are really true. That person is me and that is why, along with the fact that I bought the statue of the real Maltese Falcon on Ebay, I’m going to show you wrong and win the election for commissioner of Bonner County. I guess I should capitalize “Commissioner”, shouldn’t I? … Commissioner of Bonner County.
~Thomas (A Concerned Citizen)

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